She that shall remain nameless

Sometimes when i write these blogs i feel that all i'm doing is complaining.....haha whatev not like anyones reading them hehe...... Well last night i recieved a text message from a girl whom will remain nameless becasue im going to be saying pretty bad things about her ha but im sure if you know me well enough or even remotely you wil make the connectiojn of who i am talking about.....anyway the text......so ya i recieved this text from this girl i dated around a year ago...... She was and is the only girl i've ever loved...... i actually managed to get her outta my head for the past several months when this infamous text message appeared.....at this moment our whole relationship came flooding back into my memory.......sucks bad! And to be honest i really don't know why i love this girl..... She's self centered, obnoxious and has no respected for the male gender.......but on the other hand she is gorgeous(in my eyes and others as well) and she just has this spell she cast over me when ever she is around..... Even after she hooked up with a guy she was just "friends" with throughout our whole relationship i still couldnt get over her.....even after she just recently hooked up with one of my best friends.....still there..........even after she flirts hardcore with my older brother.....still........seriously what is wrong with me ? do other people have this same "condition"? i guess so, casue you always hear about those battered women who don't leave there significant other ( or in this case insignificant other hehe) casue they are "in love" hmmm that's something to think about...... Oh dont you love it when your ex tells you they love you after you break up? oh wait that only happens to me! haha ya thats right she would still tell me she loved me everytime we saw eachother....after questioning her about it she pulled this little line on me...."I love you, i'm just not in love with you" seriously what the fuck does that mean? excuse my language, it just really pisses me off so bad! i can see if jakki my best friend for years tells me that because there hasnt been any "real" emotion (save sexual) between us) but you cannot, cannot pull that off once you have loved someone, and dated them for over a year! it just doesnt work! wow i sound so lame and "emo" right now dont i? hehe eh wahteve! outta here in 4 days! going back to the land of milk and honey! oh and i love/hate the girl that shall remain nameless hahaha